Bumble Sucks Big Time, Let’s Face it Guys
The premise behind Bumble is nice – it gives women more control over their security and limits the number of creeps they have to deal with. But when we look at how effective Bumble is for helping guys connect with the opposite sex, we find that it fails, miserably. Bumble sucks for men- and it’s not worth the hassle. Here’s why.
Why Bumble Sucks: It’s Too Expensive
$8.99 a week or $22.49/month For Bumble’s Premium
Besides the outrageous price tag, they don‘t give you many features; only the ability to see matches and extend time. They have a feature called Boost, which is touted as “the way to get seen more,” but it isn‘t bundled with the premium price – you have to pay extra (we’ll talk Bumble Swipes in a bit.)
Tinder’s Premium is only $14.99/month.
Bumble’s competitor is cheaper and it provides more. With Tinder’s premium counterpart you get five super-likes, one boost and the ability to see who likes you.
BUMBLE SUCKS SCORE: -1
Why Bumble Sucks: It’s Pay-to-Play Features Don’t Work
Bumble’s pay-to-play features – you know, the ones not covered by its premium account – are ineffective and don’t work well. Take for example Bumble’s SuperSwipe. It costs $2 per use, and you’ll have no idea if you’re using it on a girl who’s even active on the app. In fact, we have yet to meet anybody in-person or online who was able to get a SuperSwipe to work. $2 is simply not worth it.
BUMBLE SUCKS SCORE: -2
Bumble’s version of a Tinder boost is called “Spotlight”. With the same premise, it’s supposed to get you seen by more people. It’s more effective than a SuperSwipe – as you’ll have a higher chance of getting a match. But depending on how populated the area you live in is, you might not be seen by many more women. So again, the effectiveness of this feature is questionable.
BUMBLE SUCKS SCORE: -3
Just Because A Girl Shows Up On Bumble Doesn’t Mean She Is ON Bumble.
When somebody is inactive on Tinder they’re removed from the swipe queue. Bumble doesn’t do the same. This means there are the women you’re swiping may have deleted the app years ago. So not only are you wasting your time, you’re also wasting your money if you purchased any of the addon features.
BUMBLE SUCKS SCORE: -4
Why Bumble Sucks: A Match Doesn’t Guarantee Much
Bumble’s core differentiator is the idea that ladies go first. Again, a nice idea on the surface. So let’s say you just paid Bumble $36 and the naming rights to your first child. And, then BAM. You finally matched with the girl of your dreams. You have the perfect reply lined up if she would just send you the message. 24 hours pass, and she‘s about to disappear from the app forever. Sure, you could use an “extend”, and give her another 24 hours to message you. But the chances of that happening are slim. At least with other apps, if a girl is on the fence, the opportunity is there to swing things in your favor with a witty message. On Bumble, you’re not awarded the chance.
BUMBLE SUCKS SCORE: -5
If we haven’t made things already abundantly clear, Bumble sucks for men. Other alternatives, such as Hinge and Tinder give men more control over their swiping, gives them better chances at matches, and have cheaper premium features.